The church in Corinth wanted to know what to do with sex. They’d wrote a letter to Paul asking him about it – now that they had faith in Jesus, what were they to do with their sexuality? The culture of the day, the Greek thinking was leaning towards anything in the physical being ‘bad’ and not very ‘spiritual’ – including sex! So they’d concluded that the obvious solution was to avoid it – right?
Paul comes right back at them and reminds them that sex is designed for marriage, it’s a good thing for a man to have a wife and a woman to have a husband; to procreate and have sex, and enjoy it! Avoid it for a season if you feel you need to, be celibate if you can (Pauls preference but certainly not a command), but if you can’t, get married and have a fruitful and enjoyable sex life. Sex within marriage is safe, a gift, a holy act of intimacy that reflects the union between Christ and His bride, the church.
However, this isn’t how we view sex most of the time. Both in our culture and in our churches, we tend to view sex in one of the following three ways:
- Sex as a god - we serve it, instead of allowing it to serve us. It becomes the driving force in our lives and marriages. We were designed to serve one God, and His name is Jesus.
- Sex as gross - typically this happens when we have been traumatised by past sexual experiences, failures and brokenness. Sex is now gross, we see it as pain and trauma and not something that could be enjoyed. Or, we may see sex as gross if we haven’t been taught well. For example, in many Christian homes and churches, sadly sex is not talked about due to embarrassment or shame. The result though is that children grow up thinking sex is wrong, gross or something that isn’t relevant to our lives. Parents – talk to your children about sex. Remind them and teach them of the goodness of it and the correct way to express it. If you don’t, someone else will.
- Sex as gift - this is God’s intention. That within marriage, sex is a gift to enjoy, procreate, grow in intimacy with our marriage partner.
God’s heart and intention is that our sexuality is used for His glory in and through marriage. If sex is a god in your life, come back to the only God who gives more than He takes.
If sex is gross to you, know that this isn’t what God wants for you. Get some help today. Reach out to a counsellor or Pastor who can help you, through prayer and support achieve breakthrough and freedom in this area of your life.
If you’re married, stay faithful. Your sexuality is a gift. Keep it real and offer it to Jesus and your spouse only. Sex is a good thing. It’s a God thing. Sex should be the fruit of a marriage, not the focus.
Finally, a word to those not yet married - get a vision for biblical sex. In other words, see it as a gift for use in marriage. Your singleness isn’t a disease. You’re called by God, loved by God. Another person, a sex life won't make you. Jesus makes us and gives us all we need for life and godliness. Use the season of singleness to maintain your purity, heal from any past sexual failures, and prepare for the person God will bring into your life. You won't regret it.